Ever wondered why those clouds overhead often appear shapeless and asymmetrical? Problem solved. It’s a case of cloud theft. Some cunning James Bond villains have successfully stolen clouds for their own water needs. This is the startling view of an Iranian general who claims that Israel has secretly plotted to ensure clouds entering Iranian skies are unable to release rain. Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of Iran’s Civil Defense Organization, made this astute albeit astounding claim at a press conference. He accused Israel of manipulating the weather to prevent rain over the Islamic Republic, alleging his country was facing a dastardly case of international cloud “theft”. He studiously noted that, above 2,200 meters (7,218 feet), all mountainous areas between Afghanistan and the Mediterranean are covered in snow, except Iran. Hmmm.
Ridiculous? Maybe. But Iran could well launch nuclear war against Israel through his clouded opinion of the weather. Perhaps Al Gore is really to blame by being the chief publicist for the concept of ‘climate change’. And from Al it’s a small hop step and jump to Big Ben (Benjamin Netanyahu, known for subverting the Israeli political system by smoking influential cigars). There you have it – a cloud-free explanation: a cohort of Jewish Nobel Prize winners has been collaborating on cloud-theft research.
It would actually be funny if the quoted words weren’t those of an Iranian reincarnation of Dr. Strangelove.
But no need to fear. Today’s leaders are rational, clear-minded individuals unbefuddled by cloudy minds. Right? In fact they all belong to the ‘in-cloud’.